A Handy Guide For Getting Rid of Feathers

   A Handy Guide for Getting Rid of Feathers 

Feathers: We all know them. They get inside every nook and cranny. This guide will help you eradicate them from your house.

The one thing all feathers hate are... PILLOWS!

Pillows, notorious among feather communities as voracious predators that maliciously consume millions of feathers every minute. Efforts are underway by feather activists to breed new pillows that feed on types of foam, but have met with great resistance by traditional breeders of pillows. A well-trained pillow can be devastating to even a centuries-old feather establishment, but be warned. If you invite a poorly managed pillow into your home, then your feathers will be gone, but perhaps at the cost of any furniture you may possess.

If you wish to find a non-violent way to remove feathers from your house, you can try a mixture of peppermint, lavender and almond oil sprayed into feather colonies, but the feathers may simply pack up and move to a different part of your house, so you may have to spread it throughout the entire house to get them to move.

Cold does not affect feathers, but extreme heat, upwards of 50 degrees Celsius may drive the feathers out to seek a cooler dwelling.

You may not want to get rid of your colony of feathers. If they are properly domesticated, after a few generations they may become loyal pets. Domesticating feathers takes a lot of work however, and you will need to spend most of your time with them.

In the end, you may find peace in a house without feathers and continue to live your life as you had before. Or, you might find a surprising new friend in your neighborhood feather population that you can't imagine living without.

Signed,

A feather enthusiast